Today’s workout plan for SJV (friend, regular training partner, and stairclimb teammate) and me was to run and climb. It was her first day on the stairs and based on my report from last week she was excited to climb; a little adrenalized. We decided to skip the run, go right to the stairs so she could determine her base time.
Floor 3, she started to hold the handrails. Floor 8, her legs started to burn. At floor 12 she announce that she was going to “try” to make it to 20. She made the top. I could hear her lungs screaming at me. I was part thrilled that she felt as miserable as I did during my first climb, and part relieved that her asthma didn’t get the best of her. Like me, I think she was a little awed that she was as sweaty, breathless, and uncomfortable. Have we nothing to show for the years of distance training?
I felt as if I were having a better climb this week. Although I tapped the rail early in the game, I spent the majority of the time with my hands by my side. I was a little happier. I actually spoke to the two people I encountered in the stairwell. At floor 42 I checked my watch: nine seconds faster than last week. Nine seconds; not a ton of time, but an improvement. Nine seconds; I’ll take it. Nine seconds; about 6 more full breaths. I stood at the top for exactly 72 breaths…I didn’t time it…until my heart rate went from 162 to 99…and then descended. No knee pain, no dizziness from circling.
Climb time: 10:11. Descend time: 8:20 (a minute faster). And then I immediately turned around and started climbing again. I hit floor 10 and 2:30 (same pace), turned around, and came down again. Note: the extra 10 flights was in the plan, but was stirred on by the fact that a woman lay on the floor at the bottom while her friend re-ascended. Wherever you go, the ego follows…
Nine seconds. Not a whole lot of time, you know. But did you ever stop to calculate how much happiness you can put into nine seconds? Immeasurable…
I’ve signed up for the Fight For Life Climb Tampa in March, and have committed to finding 49 others to join me. As I’ve said, my friend recently passed away and this seems like the perfect way to honor him and his way of life; paying it forward. I’ve “conned” (take my word for it, that’s kind of funny) his one American-ized brother into joining us. When we spoke the other day there was the common worry of our ankles and knees and hips made weary by years of overuse and misuse. I assured him that anything we get done is…good.
I was quite excited about the prospect of my initial ascent up the Bank of America building. My training plans for the weekend changed but I still decided to go it alone this morning. My goal: make the climb from bottom to top, and return to the bottom. I have spoken to a few friends who have done the climb with either little or no training and had a time of 10:00 in my head. No running. No double-stepping. Just climbing. Without hands. Well, perhaps running down, but I’d play that one by ear.
I took a little run downtown prior, just to warm up. I didn’t want my heart rate to get too high on the initial part of the climb; I wanted to have the initial shock of exercise completed before I attempted this “new” exercise (OK, I know stairs aren’t “new” but it’s been a long time since I’ve run up a 10-minute-hill or gone to the gym and used the Stairmill.).
My legs started to get tired: 4th floor. I decided to use my hands for a little extra balance: 11th floor. Heart rate felt excessively high: 15th floor. My heart rate was only about 145, so I didn’t know why I was breathing so audibly that I was glad I was alone. Beginning to feel like a contestant from The Biggest Loser: 21st floor. Heart rate at 155, a good pace for an endurance run: half-way finished. My ears popped at about this time, too. Glad I wasn’t doing this outside or I’d have had a nervous breakdown (not really a fan of heights). I wondered what would happen if I got wobbly and took a dive. Well, I wondered that until the sound of my own heavy breathing was louder than that thought in my head. Had to stop balancing with my hands because my arms were tire: 38th floor. Hit the 42nd floor at 10:20.
Then I had to stand there for a two minutes as I watched my heart rate go from 164 to 100. At least my body notices when I stop. And it knows how to cool down quickly. THAT’S what I have to show for years in the game…I know how to relax.
I made my descent at the same cadence. I started down as if I was making my grande debut, or at least entering the foyer at Tara; sideways. Perhaps it was because I was taught this was “attractive”, perhaps it is because my feet are much larger than the actual step and I was afraid of the aforementioned plummet. My knees ached. Hit the 1st floor landing at 9:22. Heart rate: 94.
I stood at the bottom assessing the team of competitors who had just arrived to train. Their leader sported a weighted vest and took the stairs two at a time, sometimes three at a time. Everyone followed, two at a time. I would have followed them to see how successful this method proved to be, but my legs were shaking. I had planned to make the trek twice today, but that didn’t happen. I had planned to slog through another mile of downtown running to cooldown, but replaced that with a walk to Starbucks for a Venti iced coffee. I did about 30 minutes of stability work for my hips, and was glad to be done.
As I sat in my car and drove the couple of miles to work I could feel my deep hip muscles…that good achy feeling that you get when you know you used something in a different fashion. I know this is going to be good in the long run, maybe even fun. But right now, all I can say is…huh, who knew?
Keeping the main thing the main thing: I’ll move regularly, more often, and with better quality. This is my (underlying) mantra, even as I sit at my desk and catch up with the myriads of paperwork!
Start in push up position...
Here’s another of my favorite moves: Side-Walking Push-Ups. It’s a great warm up, especially right after “inchworming” my way across the gym or down my driveway. It wakes those wakes up those core muscles as well as the shoulder stabilizers. Do this with a friend, if only to laugh at each other. Kidding…tell each other how you look. Ideally you want to be board straight. If it helps you to (cheat a little and) put your hips and butt in the air, so be it. Call it what it is: cheating to lighten
...and walk sideways across the floor.
the load a bit so as to allow you to get something done is OK with me. Cheating and not being honest with yourself, not so much.
23/24 I will continue to work my posture, putting a little more healthy load on the shoulder joints when I can!
Down the street, across the gym, at the playground…wherever you can fit it in. Nobody when argue with you while they are admiring your great looking arms!
Keeping the main thing the main thing: if you bobble on the tightrope of life, get your legs back under you and start again.
I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately, but I’m back! And here’s on of my favorite warm-up exercises. It is an active move that helps to elongate the hamstrings while activating the shoulder and torso stabilizers.
Begin by leaning forward, hands to floor. Keep your legs straight (but knees not locked). Start crawling forward with your hands untilyou’re in push-up position. If you
Walk your arms forward.
are able, keep walking your hands even farther out in front…without dropping your body to the floor and smashing your face (just sayin’. Isn’t a helmet related activity.). Hold this elongated position for a second or two. Then start moving the feet. You move them by picking up your toes/dorsiflexing the ankle (not bobbling your butt back and forth). Back to starting position.
Hold, just for a moment.
22/40 Have a simple “move” that signals your body to “start”…start the day, start a workout, start the week, start again. Whatever it is, you’ll know you’re ready for bigger and better things!
Your feet move by lifting your toes towards your knee, inching forward.
So my friend The Irishman died on Thursday. I missed him by about ten minutes. I still went into the room, hoping he hadn’t quite left the building. I told him how I had taken a walk up the beach the prior evening, handed him the shells I had selected for him, relived the conversation his good buddy and I had whilst running, and showed him the photograph of the brilliant night sky when we had finally finished our training. I wished him Happy Trails, hoped we would meet again someday. As I left Hospice, I remembered the cloud of witnesses…those who had gone this route prior, and those who were soon embarking on his same journey. And as I sat at Starbucks with a tablet of paper, scribbling wise thoughts, I believed I put it all to rest.
I had forgotten about “grief”. You’ve heard it said that people grieve in their own way; some weep, some moan, some can’t carry on, some never shed a tear. How I grieve for contemporaries seems to be quite different than my experience with “older” people. I have not lost a contemporary in a few years, so my grief came unexpected.
When DM was dieing, he appeared to me while driving. There I was on the Courtney Campbell Causeway in rush-hour traffic when I looked over to see him in my passenger seat. Didn’t say anything, but I got it. I was happy as he chose to pass. When James died, he became known as the “big giant head”. He followed me around for three weeks. He stayed in the upper right of my periphery; when I turned, he moved a little more to my right. Never said a thing, just looked at me with that whimsical smile of his.
I frantically asked some clergyman about The Big Giant Head that was haunting me. He said it made perfect sense. “YOU have a big giant head”, he said. “Big mouth, big eyes, big voice, big animations. You’re just big. AND you seem keyed in on facial expressions…which you’re big on. Why shouldn’t people’s faces and heads and eyes and smiles follow you around?”. (Jame’s head disappeared right after that)
The day after the Irishman died I went home instead of to the pool in the middle of the afternoon. I just needed a twenty minute nap; not odd for me. I set the alarm for thirty minutes, but hit it off in a deep slumber when it tried to wake me. Fell back into a deep sleep.
In my dream, The Irishman was in his hospital bed. I plopped down on the bed (something that was far too intimate of a gesture for me while he was ill) and we began to talk. I have no idea what the conversation was, but it ended with one of those high five/hand slaps/ knuckle bumps that you give people when you’re…”with them”. You know, in sports they roughly translate to “Good job, I wouldn’t have done it without you, I’ll tell you that when I can breathe again, we’re freaking awesome, shit that hurt but I’d gladly do it again just to feel this good, and I know by the way that you look and are looking at me that you totally feel the same way”. The look in his eyes echoed that, and looked incredibly…joyful. All knowing. It was a big Irish laugh to go with his big Irish smile and his big colorful eyes. He rolled to his right side, took a deep breath, and went to sleep. I sat there, knowing that I wouldn’t move and disturb his slumber.
And I awoke with such a start. I didn’t know where I was, what time of day it was, where I should have been, or what I should have been doing. I was a little spooked…until I remembered that it’s just the way I do things.
People enter your life, and even if it’s a small part of your entire existence you open your heart to them. For the last six months or so I have prayed for him and thought about this leg of his journey every day, his life being woven into the fabric of mine. He allowed that, giving up a little bit of his heart. A little chunk of my being has passed away with him. That’s a little sad.
But my life has been changed, for the better, because of his existence and exit strategy. Luckily, it is that look in his big eyes, the sound of his brogue, and his big belly laugh that will stay with me the longest.
And THAT shall change the way I proceed on my journey from here.
Ar dheis De go raibh a anam dilis.
And, somehow, this just seems more fitting than anything else…
I’ve missed a few days of blogging about balance. I’m off count. My plan is not being carried out as I had thought. And I’m OK with that. I have indeed been “busy”…thinking. And sometimes that’s the best I can offer. I like to think of it as preparation. Or sometimes clarifying.
As I said, a friend of mine was moved to a hospice facility last Thursday. At the time it was thought he would live just a few more hours. He rallied a bit, but not enough to make it back home. He is still under hospice care in place he calls “nicer than a hospital”. Says it’s like a hotel…with nurses. I take it he’s comfortable. When I visited the other day I was given the “5 minute” rule. He said he hadn’t slept well because of bizarre dreams, so bizarre he couldn’t even explain them. Then he said “Oh well, you’d understand it. I dreamed I was going to a race.” We laughed about that strange state you get in…half sleep, half awake…where your dreams and your real day can’t quite seem to separate themselves. That’s all well and fine for most of us, but when you are found jumping out of bed at random hours trying to detach your oxygen tank and catheter it can be particularly frightening to whatever family member has bunked in with you for the night.
That night I would go to bed, expecting a nice deep slumber after a long day of activity. I would not sleep soundly, but rather I spent the night dreaming…dreaming of my friend dreaming about going to a race. Each time I woke I would find myself all tightened up, gripping the sheets, legs cramping. And each time I lulled myself back to sleep I did so knowing I was safe, I was dreaming, and that it just might be interesting to play the dream out til the end. And in the light of the morning, my random dreaming and his bizarre need to go to a race all made some sense to me.
One of my favorite Bible verses talks about the “great cloud of witnesses”; all whom have gone before us, all those that have seen or done what are now our challenges, all who are watching from both here and now and times long passed.
I was glad my friend was going to a race. In triathlon, as with many races, you finish, and then you wait for your friends. You grab water, turn around, and perhaps choose to watch from the finishers shoot or grandstand. If your friends started way behind you, you have a longer wait. Sometimes you begin running the course in reverse, find a friend, and finish the race with them. Either way, it’s nice to have people at the finish line waiting for you… your name gets called, the cheers are louder…it’s much more fun. And no matter how tired you have been in the race, you always seem to be able to pick it up a little at the end.
Maybe my friend was going to one last race. He took a little while in transition, and has even sat in the medical tent for a while. It doesn’t matter if he walks or runs or crawls to that finish line; he will get there. And how nice to think that those have finished before him will cheer him in. On our next visit I said “It looks like you’re going to get to the finish line before us”, he laughed and replied “It’s the first time I’ve been able to do that!”. I told him I’d happily watch his back on this one. And of course, rest in the hope that he’d turn around, wait on me, cheer me on as I got closer, and come back to get me if I needed.
Keeping the main thing the main thing: life should be balanced. But if you have to stop and put all your eggs in one basked for a while, know that you can once again get back into balance.
“All my eggs” have not gone into the “vigilant friend who has kept a bedside watch” basket. I have been a visitor these last few days, but it’s more that my thoughts have been narrowly focused on my friend, end of life, living a good live, changing to lead a better life, losing a friend…you get it.
21/40 Spend some time, even five minutes, in quiet meditation every day. Pick a topic and reflect. I like to do this after my breathing exercise/relaxation time, as “wise thoughts” and “answers” seem to come my way.
So, I’m off the blogging-about-balance tightrope. And that’s OK. I have more important things on my mind right now. I’m still here. In the meantime, run your race with perseverance with the tools that you have!
I’ve been off for a couple of days. I can say I’ve been incredibly busy, swamped even. I’m self employed, so that’s a good thing. I had some good workouts, ate some good meals, and seemed to have worked on more than my share of injured necks.
I also made a visit to a friend who was moved from the hospital in to hospice care. When I received a call from a friend on Thursday evening I knew I would not get to visit until noon the next day. I would start to think. And anguish. What would I say, how would he feel, would he be awake or medicated….just questions. I’d quickly decide not to sweat it, but to just visit. Each time a question popped back into my head I’d just let it go and know that the visit would go fine. I mean…I have the easy part. All I have to do is go visit.
Keeping the main thing the main thing: Life is worth living. We can undergo transformations, stay on our diets, put ourselves through living hell, train like dogs…but we need to take some time to just live our lives. Of course I like living a healthy lifestyle and competing and racing and getting it done. But it sure is nice to just live. And enjoy. To that end:
19/40 Breathe. We talked about this before. Breathing is good, and better than the alternative. Enjoy breathing today, if only for a few minutes.
20/40 Tell someone you love them. Not “love ya'”, but I LOVE YOU. Tell a family member, a friend, someone going through a tough time. Even if it surprises someone, they are sure going to be glad they hear it! If you need to, practice with actions first…eventually it will be easier to say.
Can you do it? Everyday, at least for the next twenty. A life worth living and loving.
breathe, just breathe
take the world off your shoulders
and put it on me
breathe, just breathe
let the life that you live
be all that you need
let go of the fear
let go of the time…
you’re gonna be fine (Ryan Star)
Yup. That’s my new passion. Not in that drunken skirt-pulled-up-over-my-head type of way. I just like a glass of wine. In a pretty glass. With a piece of fruit or a piece of cheese. It’s the perfect end to a full day, a perfect start to a relaxing evening. It’s the “activity” that helps me compartmentalize…day to evening, yang to yin, work to rest. If at home, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the couch. Read mail. Heart rate and blood pressure slowly slow. I give myself a good 20-30 mins like this. Then I can start dinner and get on with the evening (lack of ) activity.
In an effort to be cognizant of my economic balance, I’ve been more aware of trying “cheap” wines. Some have been good, some…not so much. And I’m tempted to try a box. Have you seen the juice-boy style wine at Target? No, I’m not kidding. I think I’ll start bringing them to work. Which would make me giggle. Which is all part of the balance of things.
Keeping the main thing the main thing: Heck, I’m too buzzed to remember what that is.
18/40 I will see the balance in it all! Save money, giggle, do some Yin homework, prepare a healthy dinner…and maybe do some balance exercises on shaky legs.
I was actually glad to have a younger sister when this show was on…Rita Moreno, Morgan Freemank, Bill Cosby…not a bad line-up of talented characters. And the catchy jingle. Nice flashback!
The show was for graduates of “The School of the Sesame Street” and its mission was to enhance reading skills. Creative skits that appealled to the senses were the norm. They had song and dance and color and laughing and cartoons and people and printing…they tried it all. The creative juices would flow out of the electric company and magically change the hard-wiring of the children who watched. Parents and educators would make sure the program was a staple in children’s diet and I’m sure were very happy that money was always found to support it (…made possible by a grant from the Fords or the Carnegies…).
That was then, this is now. We are older, hopefully wiser. The energy still leaves the electric company and magically transforms our appliances. And perhaps the money always appears to get that job done. But we no longer need the constant stimulation in our lives. We’re older and wiser and all of our energies do not need to be “on” to get us through the day.
Keeping the main thing the main thing: We all need to be more cognizant of our environment, be more aware of being “green”.
17/40 I will be much more aware of my electrical use, both at home and at work. I was “trained” this way, so I think I do a pretty good job…I don’t leave the refrigerator door hanging open, I turn out lights when I leave the room, I use lower watt bulbs. But I’m going to do a thorough energy audit on myself and see what I can catch. Perhaps I’ll start dining by candle light each evening. Or meditating for longer just to keep the lights off.
Or maybe I’ll practice balancing my way through the dark house, taking the stairs two at a time…bring it on!
I’ve always believed that when I just live the way I’m “supposed” to live, it all works out right. It’s a little bit of “give ‘it’ (the stress) to God” and a bit of “do the right thing”. I’m doing a pretty good job with my daily tasks and the energy is starting to trickle into other areas not yet addressed. A healthy breakfast? That’s my start each day. But I am also feeling a little better as I fall lie in bed each night and examine the day. Huh…if I work on balance I seem to be more balanced.
Today’s workout plan for SJV (friend, regular training partner, and stairclimb teammate) and me was to run and climb. It was her first day on the stairs and based on my report from last week she was excited to climb; a little adrenalized. We decided to skip the run, go right to the stairs so she could determine her base time. 
Mobile Balance 